Whole-Brained Grandparenting: The Baby Gift
Expecting your first grandchild? I remember when I received the phone call that my firstborn was expecting his first. My head and my heart were full. I remembered back when we had placed that phone calls to our parents. I had expected hoots and hollers on the phone, and instead there was a long silence. Now I know what was going through their minds! We lived miles from family and existed on my paltry earnings while my husband was in med-school, and they were worried.
It has been said that procreation best belongs to the young and impulsive because after a certain age, you’d never have the nerve to have children.
“When you have children,” my mother told me, “you become a hostage to fortune.” She may have misquoted, in a way fitting to her caring personality. I’ve also heard, “When you have children, you give hostages to fortune.” We who have parented long enough to have a child able to produce a child know all about this. As the sign in my local plant nursery so succinctly puts it: “There is no guarantee on the life of this plant, or of any other life on this planet.”
Our hearts and minds are full because the job of parenting doesn’t end when they leave home. It must become more subtle as we allow our adult children to make their own decisions, but our influence remains and there are information and wisdom to impart. Thus the call for whole-brained grandparenting.
For instance, your adult child may read the same financial advice article for new parents that I read, which contained the following: “At a glance the question of whether one spouse should quit work [and stay home] is clear cut: If the spouse earns only enough to cover child care costs, staying at home probably makes sense.” Looking further yielded only that “benefits” were often 35% of the salary package.
Like the mythological Cerberus, who guarded the gates to the Underworld (metaphorically, the things just below the level of cognition), I have three heads, and all 3 were wagging: (1) the heart that feels a baby benefits most when cared for by its parent; (2) the head that thinks the article-writer was irresponsible not to point out this wasn’t a decision to make strictly on the basis of finances; and, (3) the whole-brained EQ coach who believes important decisions require EQ as well as IQ.
So what gifts will you give the new baby? As a grandparent, our parenting modeling continues. Our choice of gifts will say a lot.
Do you rush out and buy the $300 stuffed duckie or take care of half their Wish List at Toys R Us? Or do you symbolically get the show on the road for Responsible Parenting?
The birth of the first child signals a huge transition – taking on the emotional and financial responsibility for a new life. You want to oversee, in a respectful and hands-off fashion, that all the bases get touched.
Financially, here are some topics you might bring up:
1. A parent must have a will, unless you want “the Court” deciding who raises your child (the Guardian), and who administers the finances (the Executor). They need not, and often should not, be the same person.
2. Insurance. Some “rules of thumb”:
a. You insure the life of someone according to their ability to provide income. This doesn’t include babies.
b. An adult in their 20s, 30s, and 40s is statistically far more likely to need disability insurance than life insurance.
c. Group insurance plans through jobs aren’t portable. Individual policies are.
3. College education. 529s are great – you can use any state’s plan and the beneficiary can attend school in any state – but college is “gravy.” Like they say on the airplane -- apply your own oxygen mask first; then your child’s. An 18 year old can, if necessary, provide her own college funding. The higher priority for the parents (and the future benefit of their children) is to provide for their own retirement.
4. Uniform Gifts to Minors. Do they (or you) want to establish a savings account in the child’s name? As a grandparent, I doubt you do – it reverts to the child’s sole discretion at age 18 or 21, and you know this is putting a weapon in the hands of a child, but your grown children may not. Best-case scenario, your 18 year old grandson argues with his parents about whether to spend the $200,000 on college or living for a year in Tahiti with his girl-friend. Worst-case scenario, he just does it; it’s his money.
5. The $600 matching crib set. Can the baby exist without it? I imagine yours did!
Giving the gift of sitting down and going over the realities is not very glamorous, but then neither is changing diapers. Your daughter may have her head in the clouds, and her husband, his feet on the ground, or vice versa; or both may be in either position together. You, on the other hand, can see and share the big picture.
What if you gave them a giant stuffed duckie and tied around its neck some gift coupons -- a paid visit to your trusted lawyer; tuition to a parenting seminar; a year’s supply of maid or lawn service; and a 3-night cruise during the first year with you babysitting back home. Scaled to your income, of course.
My grandmother was very loving, very practical, and also very wealthy. Her gift to me when my son was born consisted of some exquisite designer layette items; a year’s diaper service; and a not with a little P.S. that she knew my husband was “looking after the will and that sort of thing.” She could have given a lot more financially, but she exercised restraint, modeling what’s really important. Most meaningful to me was the note inside. She was born in 1898, and the note began, “Welcome to the sacred sorority of motherhood.” Somehow that needed to be said.
And over the years, she had given me much excellent advice, including “Don’t listen to those pediatricians, listen to your heart.” As an example, she told me that her pediatrician had told her to let the baby cry. “I didn’t listen to him,” she said. “Babies cry for a reason.”
Don’t proselytize about what you don’t give, and don’t apologize for what you can’t give. My other grandmother, whose life was rich in love and Spartan in possessions, handed me a wedding gift of rags for cleaning, obtained the way rags used to be – from scraps of her worn out clothing and linens. I placed it next to the sterling silver service for 12 from the other grandmother on the gift table, and valued them both about the same.
Whatever you give materially or in-service, be there to help them sort through the fad-du-jour advice, get in touch with their own values and priorities, and touch all the bases.
And, by the way, congratulations!
©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc.

HOMEAnniversary Gift Baskets Baby Gift BasketsBath Gift BasketsBear Gift BasketsBreakfast Gift BasketsBirthday Gift BasketsBusiness Gift BasketsCandle Gift BasketsCare PackagesChristmas Gift BasketsCoffee Gift BasketsCookie Gift BasketsCorporate Gift BasketsEaster Gift Baskets Fall Gift BasketsFarewell Gift BasketsFather's Day Gift Baskets Flowers, Plants, Online FloristFruit Gift BasketsGarden Gift BasketsGet Well Gift BasketsGift Baskets - Best Sellers Gift Baskets For HerGift Baskets For HimGift Baskets For KidsGift Baskets - Free ShippingGift Baskets On SaleGift Baskets $50-80Gift Baskets $80-125Gift Baskets under $50GiftBoxesGift Towers Gourmet Food Gift BasketsHand Delivered Gift BasketsHalloween Gift BasketsHoliday Gift BasketsHouse Warming Gift BasketsItalian Gift BasketsMother's Day Gift Baskets New Gift Baskets New Mom Gift Baskets Pamper Spa Gift BasketsPicnic Gift BasketsReal Estate Closing Gifts Romantic Gift BasketsSnack Gift BasketsSports Gift BasketsStress Relief BasketsSympathy Gift BasketsTea Gift BasketsThank You Gift Baskets Thanksgiving Gift Baskets Valentine's Day Gift Baskets Wedding Gift Baskets View All Gift Baskets
Frequently Asked QuestionsGift Basket ShippingHow to Buy Gift BasketsHow To Contact Adorable Gift BasketsGift Related SitesAdd A Gift Site
Gift Basket Directory
Privacy PolicyFax Gift Basket Order |
Just Monkeying Around Baby Gifts
$129.95
cb MAGB
Themed with the adorable Curious Monkey, this gift will be treasured by all who love to Monkey Around. New baby gift tin filled with practical, new baby essentials for new babies.
|
Kid's Stuff Fun Gift Basket
$69.95
d 890232
A fun gift for children. For kids Birthday, get well gift, travel gift or any occasion, this fun filled gift basket will brighten their day and keep them busy for hours.
|
Kids Feel Better Quick Gift Basket
$39.99
bb KGFB06
This adorable gift basket makes a spectacular gift for a kid. A great way to simply to put a smile on any childs face.
|
Kids Get Well Bouquet
$69.95
GW0205
A get well, boredom buster gift box for kids. Activities selected based on age appropriateness.
|
Little Cowpoke Baby Gift Basket
$159.95
cb LCP
Baby gift basket, western theme new baby gifts, cowpoke new baby gift baskets and baby shower gifts.
|
Little Red Wagon Gift Set
$76.95
d 890252
Kids loves little red wagons! This little red wagon arrives filled with unique and fun filled treats for children and a sweet teddy bear dressed as a Sailor boy or Sailor girl.
|
Luxury Classics Personalized Baby Boy Gift Basket
$179.95
cb-LCPBGB
An adorable, personalized baby boy gift basket designed for the the baby who has everything. Luxurious fabrics and a beautiful presentation will surely please any who receive this gift.
|
Luxury Classics Personalized Baby Girl Gift Basket
$179.95
cb-LCPBGGB
An adorable baby girl gift basket. Luxurious fabrics and a beautiful presentation will surely please any who receive this gift.
|
Marmalade Birthday Bear
$48.50
cb-TTBIRB
This adorable birthday gift arrives with a bouquet of plush balloons, a candy box of fruity hard candy, Marmalade the birthday bear and a happy birthday gift card.
|
Mega Deluxe Baby Einstein Gift Basket
$239.95
bb BGBES05 Free ground shipping
Send this memorable Baby Einstein gift for a lasting impression. There is simply no better way to say congratulations, no better way to say you care.
|
Mommy and Baby Gift
$149.00
cb MMR
Mommy & Me Baby Gift Baskets. Adorable gifts for any new mom and baby. Available for baby boys or baby girls and new mothers.
|
Moses Basket Baby Carrier
$69.95
d 890152
This new baby carrier is a great gift for the new baby boy or new baby girl! Perfect for baby shower gift or send your friends the Moses Baby Carrier as soon as the little one arrives!
|
New Sister Bracelets
$59.95
cb NSGS
What an adorable way to celebrate the birth of a new baby sister! Beautiful genuine freshwater pearls and pink swarovski crystal baby bracelets are a unique alternative to the usual baby shower gift.
|
New Baby Carriage Gift Basket
$59.99
d 89052
This lovely baby carriage is filled with gifts for the new baby. Available in pink, blue or teal. A perfect baby shower gift or to welcome new baby home from the hospital.
|
New Baby Girl Dress
$119.00
cb-MMR-cb
An elegant gift basket for new baby girl and mommy! Our adorable rose baby dress will delight new Mom as she enjoys the luxurous spa products and slippers.
|
New Baby Mother Goose Gift Tower
$174.95
gt 6874
Mary Engelbreit's nostalgic Moother Goose characters hold treasures for Mom and Dad and new Baby. Includes baby sleepware, keepsakes and more. A simply beautiful new baby gift.
|
New Baby Rocking Horse Cookie Bouquet
$69.95
cg 76
Perfect for baby shower or welcoming the new baby. Welcome newborn baby with this adorable, personalized rocking horse gift basket. Fresh-baked cookies and new baby gifts.
|
New Baby Twins
$149.95
baby gifts
A special personalized gift for twins. Features two adorable storks, each carrying its own little baby, and two of everything else...
|
New Baby Wagon
$47.56
us ftf ss Hand delivery
New baby wagon includes chrysanthemums, carnations and roses arriving in an adorable miniature keepsake wagon. Availble in both boy and girl baby versions.
|
New Beginnings Gift Basket
$59.90
BB REBtfly
The butterfly is symbolic of a new beginning and the perfect way to celebrate it.
Celebrate new beginnings with this butterfly theme gift basket, butterfly address book and butterfly photo frame.
|
Newborn Baby Bassinet
$89.95
cb NBB
Free ground shipping Send this adorable new baby bassinet filled with wonderful gifts to welcome the new arrival. Add personalization to the bunny cardigan and you have a gift to remember!
|
Newborn Baby Gift Box
$49.99
d 89082
This adorable baby gift box, filled with loving gifts for new baby, delivers your good wishes to the special newborn and the new parents.
|
Personalized Baby Gift Basket
$129.50
cb PFF
Adorable Froggy Friends Personalized Baby Gift Basket is the perfect way to welcome the new arrival.
|
Personalized Double The Blessings Twins Baby Gift Basket
$129.50
cb DBTGB
Nothing makes the new mom smile more than our adorable personalized double blessings twins baby gift basket.
|
Singing Birthday Bear Care Package
$46.50
d 818013
When you can't make it to the birthday celebration send this adorable happy birthday care package with a singing teddy bear! A delightful birthday surprise.
|
Snuggle Buddy Personalized Baby Blankie
$64.95
cuddly rabbit blanket
Send this adorable, cuddly rabbit baby blanket with over sized satin ears. Personalize with baby's name...
|
Special Delivery New Baby Gift
$59.95
baby gifts
This darling special delivery gift contains gifts to welcome the new arrival; baby blankets, bibs, booties and more...
|
Sweet Baby Gift Basket
$69.99
d 890172
For the new baby, this fabric lined storage new baby hamper is filled with pampering newborn baby gift items. Available in pink for girl baby or blue for boy baby.
|
Sweet Dreams Baby Basket for Good Nights!
$119.50
bb BGBS05
Send this gift basket full of baby things to help new baby enjoy a good nights sleep. Everyone in the family will appreciate this newborn gift!
|
Sweet Luv Baby Basket
$89.50
gt 6083 Free Ground Shipping
Send this adorable assortment of new baby gifts including Lullaby CD, first tooth and curl keepsake boxes, teddy bear and much more!
|
The Princess and The Pearl Baby Gift Basket-Limited Edition
$119.00
cb PAPGB
This beautiful baby gift basket arrives complete with a plush frog by Gund, Princess and frog onesie and a signature Princess Pearls genuine fresh water pearl and swarovski crystal baby bracelet!
|
Touch of Love Baby Massage Snuggie
$39.95
baby gift G5220
New baby snuggie perfect for newborn babies. Beautifully wrapped to make a unique baby shower gift. Size 0-3 or 3-6 mos...
|
Twins New Baby Basket
$175.95
baby gifts
Celebrate the new twins by sending your warmest welcome with this personalized new baby gift basket.
|
Waggy Tails New Baby Gift Basket
$98.50
cb PWTGB personalized
Our adorable puppy dog new baby gift basket arrives beautifully wrapped in tulle with matching ribbons and is personalized with baby's name.
|
Welcome Baby Bassinette
$69.95
a 640D35 / a 639D35
Welcome the new baby with a basket of sentimental baby items including huggable plush stork, loveable teddy bear rattle and a darling keepsake bassinette. Available in pink or blue accents.
|
White Wicker Baby Bassinet Gift Basket
$79.99
d 89062
Give the new arrival a big welcome with this new baby keepsake bassinet gift basket filled with new baby necessities and a plush baby lamb. Available in Blue & Pink.
|
Christmas Holiday Gift Baskets and Gifts
Find holiday gift baskets, gift boxes, towers and care packages filled with Christmas chocolates, gourmet food, fresh fruit, nuts, candy, cookies and keepsakes they're sure to love. Plan your holiday gift giving early. Order now and ship later.
|
Fall, Halloween and Thanksgiving Gift Baskets
Fall gift baskets make Autumn even brighter. Find gift ideas for Thanksgiving, Fall festival, homecoming and Halloween. Plan your Fall gift shopping now. Safe, secure online shopping. Order now and ship it later.
|
|